Monday, October 13, 2008

This I Know: 13 October 2008

Clint Eastwood is ruining it for all of us old farts. He’s 120 years old and may be the best film director working today. How did he get that gifted? Working with orangutans or sneering, “Go ahead, make my day”?

How’s that Bush tax rebate working out? Have you spent yours yet?

The LA Times, to save money now home delivers its paper in water-soluble plastic wrappers. Since Californians all water their lawns in the morning, it means the paper usually gets wet. So, the “savings” is training more and more people to get their news on the Internet and is about to cut more staff,

Consumer Reports says “Cheerios” is the best cold cereal you can get. I have Cheerios every morning, and sometimes for dinner. Have for years. As much as I hate being associated with something so wildly successful and popular, I will continue to do so.

My wife has discovered how to use the FM radio portion of our matching cell phones. I still don’t know how to retrieve the voicemail on mine.

On this day, 33 years ago, John H. Corcoran III came into this world, which is a much better place for that event. Unfortunately, that fact makes his father, John H. Corcoran, Jr., freaking ancient.

I have never seen Tina Fey and Sarah Palin in the same room together, nor do I expect to. I think there is a better chance that they are the same person than we faked the Moon landing, Oswald acted alone, or Sean Hannity is not the Anti-Christ.

The Universe is expanding at an accelerating rate. What up with that? Theories for this physics defying process are “dark matter,” “hyperatomic subdistortional phasing,” and a Cosmic joke by God just to mess with Atheists.

Did I dream it, or did the Dems, shoo-ins to win the Presidency, risk it all by nominating a black guy?

I don’t understand why people’s heads get wider as they age. Okay, that’s technically something I don’t know, but it’s my column, hence my rules.

The funniest sketch comedy actress working today is Kristen Wiig.

I would like to know what Bobby Mitchell, former Redskin wide receiver and executive thinks of the movie “The Express.” The film is about Ernie Davis, who was slated to become the first African-American player ever on the team. The Redskins traded their rights to Davis for Mitchell, who became a star, and later, a Redskins executive. Davis, tragically, never played in the pros and soon after died of Leukemia.

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