Monday, March 10, 2008

The Dems Are Back! (Sexwisedly-speaking)

Congratulations to the Democratic Party, which, after a decade-long period spent watching GOP sexual trailblazing, has just roared back to the top of the squirming, moaning, heavy-breathing, political sex-scandal slag heap Monday behind comeback kid, Eliot Spitzer.

The last time the Dems had a firm handle on sexual shenanigan leadership was when Monica Lewinski had a firm handle on Bill Clinton. Since then, it’s been all GOP all the time, spearheaded by the arrayed manhoods of Sens. Larry “Wide Stance” Craig, David “D.C. Madam” Vitter and Cong. Mark “Page from My Book” Foley.

Politician scandals have been supplemented by the woes of Right Wing pundits like Bill “Grab My Faloofah” O’Reilly, as well as those of Conservative Evangelical Preachers. The Dems have had no answer for the likes of Rev. Ted Haggard, who told his National Evangelical Assoc. to get flocked when he admitted he was “guilty of sexual immorality.”

Or Archbishop Earl Paulk, 80 years young, head of Georgia’s Cathedral of the Holy Spirit, who apparently was the real Daddy his brother’s kid. Obviously Lazarus was not the only dead thing that rose again.

The website "recovering" has a list of 55 or more alleged Tighty-Righty sexual offenders in its "GOP Pervert Hall of Shame," accuracy of which I cannot confirm.

In other news Monday, the Pope has just identified seven new “social" sins. The announcement was buried in coverage of the Spitzergate Scandal, but three of the newcomers—“polluting the environment,” "excessive wealth,” and “creating poverty”---drew the attention of the White House. Late Monday, President Bush announced he would veto all three sins.

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