Go Google Yourself

John Corcoran
Pesky Gadabout, Los Angeles & The World
Corkczar@Aol.Com

Subj: I’m John Corcoran and you’re not.

Hi. I’m John Corcoran and I’m not illiterate, not a chop socky expert, not a “New Yorker” cartoonist, and not dead. Several “John Corcoran’s” are. I’m also not “J.C. Corcoran,” the guy ShopTalk just noted was suspended for pulling a major boner on the radio. Wanted to clear that up.

I won’t rehash J.C.’s troubles—I prefer my hash unrehashed--but I’ve met the guy. We used to hit the same towns for movie junkets some years back. Several times his hotel reservations got cancelled by a clerk who thought there was a double booking.

Many of you, like me, have Googled yourself in the privacy of your own home. Don’t know about you, but I’ve encountered some amazing discoveries involving namesakes.

There is, for instance, Martial Arts Author John Corcoran--no relation. I learned about him ages ago when our mutual agent accidentally sent HIS book royalty statement to me and vice versa. No biggie—neither of us got a check.

But if our agent was serious about cornering the John Corcoran market, he could have added “The New Yorker” cartoonist. When I moved from Washington, DC, to Los Angeles, friends swore this unrelated John Corcoran was actually me. “The New Yorker” had just run a cartoon captioned “Be Still My Heart.” In it, a man in a convertible was approaching a sign reading: “Entering California.”

Want more? Perhaps you remember the time I was featured prominently on “60 Minutes?” Actually, that wasn’t me, either. That’s the formerly illiterate John Corcoran, the guy who didn’t let a little matter of his inability to read or write stop him from becoming a successful educator and author (“The Teacher who Couldn’t Read”). He even has his own foundation.

I’ve got another. I went to Rutgers University on a football scholarship. Today the Scarlet Knights have a fullback named Jack Corcoran—no relation.

Found another John Corcoran on Google. This one is a fantastically talented political consultant and attorney in the Bay Area. He’s such a fine young man the only thing keeping me from adopting him is that he’s already my son. Okay, THAT John Corcoran is related.

But over on the movie website IMDb.Com, you’ll find three or four “John Corcoran’s” all jumbled up into one listing. “John R.” (AKA “John S.”) Corcoran played “Man in Tree” in “The World According to Garp.” Never heard of him. The “John Corcoran” who played “Himself” in “Burn, Hollywood, Burn,” however,” IS me. (Ironically, I was the director’s second choice. He said I wasn’t believable.)

And then there was the scariest coincidence of all. A few days after 9/11, A CNN reporter called my home to ask if I was still alive. Fortunately I answered the phone, said I was, and--why do you ask? Turned out someone named John Corcoran was a passenger on doomed United flight 175.

So if you haven’t Googled yourself. Try it. You may come across some fascinating people.
John Corcoran
Pesky Gadabout, Los Angeles & The World
Corkczar@Aol.Com
Subj: I’m John Corcoran and you’re not.

Hi. I’m John Corcoran and I’m not illiterate, not a chop socky expert, not a “New Yorker” cartoonist, and not dead. Several “John Corcoran’s” are. I’m also not “J.C. Corcoran,” the guy ShopTalk just noted was suspended for pulling a major boner on the radio. Wanted to clear that up.

I won’t rehash J.C.’s troubles—I prefer my hash unrehashed--but I’ve met the guy. We used to hit the same towns for movie junkets some years back. Several times his hotel reservations got cancelled by a clerk who thought there was a double booking.

Many of you, like me, have Googled yourself in the privacy of your own home. Don’t know about you, but I’ve encountered some amazing discoveries involving namesakes.

There is, for instance, Martial Arts Author John Corcoran--no relation. I learned about him ages ago when our mutual agent accidentally sent HIS book royalty statement to me and vice versa. No biggie—neither of us got a check.

But if our agent was serious about cornering the John Corcoran market, he could have added a “The New Yorker” cartoonist. When I moved from Washington, DC, to Los Angeles, friends swore this unrelated John Corcoran was actually me. “The New Yorker” had just run a cartoon captioned “Be Still My Heart.” In it, a man in a convertible was approaching a sign reading: “Entering California.”

Want more? Perhaps you remember the time I was featured prominently on “60 Minutes?” Actually, that wasn’t me, either. That’s the formerly illiterate John Corcoran, the guy who didn’t let a little matter of his inability to read or write stop him from becoming a successful educator and author (“The Teacher who Couldn’t Read”). He even has his own foundation.

I’ve got another. I went to Rutgers University on a football scholarship. Today the Scarlet Knights have a fullback named Jack Corcoran—no relation.

Found another John Corcoran on Google. This one is a fantastically talented political consultant and attorney in the Bay Area. He’s such a fine young man the only thing keeping me from adopting him is that he’s already my son. Okay, THAT John Corcoran is related.

But over on the movie website IMDb.Com, you’ll find three or four “John Corcoran’s” all jumbled up into one listing. “John R.” (AKA “John S.”) Corcoran played “Man in Tree” in “The World According to Garp.” Never heard of him. The “John Corcoran” who played “Himself” in “Burn, Hollywood, Burn,” however,” IS me. (Ironically, I was the director’s second choice. He said I wasn’t believable.)

And then there was the scariest coincidence of all. A few days after 9/11, A CNN reporter called my home to ask if I was still alive. Fortunately I answered the phone, said I was, and--why do you ask? Turned out someone named John Corcoran was a passenger on doomed United flight 175.

So if you haven’t Googled yourself. Try it. You may come across some fascinating people.