Pesky Open Letter to The Clintons

Dear Mr. Former President Clinton:

Stop it. Just stop it.

You’re turning into Ralph Nader and I don’t like it. Not one damn bit. I can’t afford to have another Political Hero self-flushed down the porcelain conveyance. Yeah, I know. “Political Hero”is as close to being an Oxymoron as one can get these days…

But Mr. President, you’re the guy we pointed to when people said, okay who would be better than Bush? You’re the guy who managed the deficit, whose administration takes the wind out of the sails of the current crew when they trickle down all over themselves.

You ran such an efficient and reasonable Presidency, the only real argument they have against you is the fact you couldn’t keep your Johnson properly housed. I’ll take an Oval Office Hummer over an Endless War eight days a week and twice on Monica. To paraphrase Lincoln’s line about General Grant and booze, send a squad of interns out to service other politicians. Or give the job to Eliot Spitzer. He’s available.

You weren’t a perfect President. You did embarrass the office with the Monica thing, and NAFTA was something more in tune with Republican thinking. But as presidents go last century, you done good. Leave us our memories. We know you feel obliged to get the Missus elected, but this isn’t the way.

You’re whip smart, Mr. President, but you already know that. Obviously, you’re ten times smarter than the guy who said he wanted to put food on his family. But your smarts are a double-edge sword. We don’t buy it when you say you misspoke or forgot to mention Obama is a patriot, or claim your wife’s dirty campaign is really good for the Dems because it toughens up Obama.

You know and I know what Hillary and you and your hired guns have been doing lately has the stink of desperation on it. And it only benefits John McCain. While you and your lady have sniped at a fellow Dem, McCain has run with the opportunity to rise above the pettiness and—dare I say it—look Presidential.

Maureen Dowd and others say you and Hill are intentionally sinking the Dems chances so McCain can serve out Bush’s third term, and Hillary can run again in 2012. If so, it makes the Republican Swiftboating of Senator Kerry in 2004 look like a Swan Boat ride in the Public Garden by comparison. It’s like torpedoing your own fleet before a battle, in hopes of rebuilding it for the next one.

Keep it up and you and Hillary will guarantee at least four more years of Republican rule. That would mean four more years of Americans dying in Iraq (and perhaps Iran), four more years of a ruinous economic plan, and scarier yet, two or more Republican Supreme Court justices.

And yes, I know Senator Obama and his people aren’t pure as the driven snow either. But most people perceive his behaviors as a response to your escalating personal attacks, not a response, not an opening shot. Dirty politics.

You’ve served your country for most of your professional life. It needs you more than ever. Instead of assuring more Republican misery, we need the Clintons to join with the one person who can beat John McCain.

PESKY OPEN LETTER: What the Hell's Wrong with MSNBC?

To paraphrase the late humorist Fred Allen, you could put all I know about the Economy in a flea’s navel and still have room left over for three caraway seeds and an agent’s heart.

So I was watching Senator Obama’s speech on the Economy today with a combination of bewilderment and fascination. While what I heard made sense, I suspect what will linger long after speech was the memorable catch phrase he uttered about Sen. McCain, who he said was running for George Bush’s third term as President. As the economic mess and Mesopotamia mess vie to see who’s going to Hell faster, Obama’s effort to associate Granpa with the people responsible for both disasters makes sense.

Before his speech had even ended, McCain had issued a statement accusing Obama of the crime of Liberalism, and MSNBC, which was carrying the speech live, cut away. Why? To get back to what they do best—turn presidential politics into a Hybrid circus--half Dancing with the Stars, half Maury! (Seems they had some more dirt on Reverend Wright that just could not wait.)

What in the high holy Hell is wrong with you MSNBC? Aside from your one bright shining star—Keith Olbermann—the rest of your programming is bad and getting worse.

Dumping the Tuckster was a good idea, but replacing him with Journalist turned Karl Rove Backup dancer David Gregory? I don’t watch the new show much because every time I tune in I see tiny boxes filled with talking heads, one of whom is always Pat Buchanon. And Pat Buchanon makes my dog yak up her Alpo.

And the one thing the 24/7s don’t need are more hours devoted just to politics. (And almost exclusively presidential politics, at that. Had MSNBC dumped out of Obama for updates on the latest post Surge resurgence of violence in Iraq, I could understand. But MSNBC is so far behind the power curve in Iraq, I had to tune over to Fox News—FOX!—to get a live update from that beleaguered nation. They had some Scotsman named MacDonald reporting live. Yes, American TV is now outsourcing it’s war coverage.

Meanwhile, two Americans have been killed by recent shelling in Baghdad’s Green Zone. (as of 3 PM PDT) The U.S. Military blames Iranian-backed Shiite Militiamen. George Bush blames Congress. John McCain blames Mongol Insurgents, trained by al Qaeda in Philadelphia. The Mainstream media has bought the Administration line of hooey that the Surge has worked so it may take them a while to realize it hasn’t.